Wednesday, July 19, 2006


I stole this from LL...figured I'd give anyone who reads this a better insight into what makes me tick.

What is something that makes you ANGRY?
I hate it when you train someone on something, and they keep telling you the understand what they've been told, over and over again, but they just won't do their job correctly. Not something I've had to deal with at my current job, but in past jobs...let's just say its been a problem.

What is your favorite ALCOHOLIC drink?
I would think it would be Hofbrau Munchen Hefe-Weizen beer. It's a great imported German wheat beer. Check it out if you ever see it. They also have a good Dunkles-Weizen (dark wheat beer) that you can get around me.

What is your BIRTHDATE?
February 19th. I'll be 24 next year...ick.

Do you have any BIRTHMARKS?

What are your CAREER aspirations?
I'm trying to do the whole "master of the universe" thing. I was lucky enough to do well in college and start a few levels above the bottom of the barrel. Hopefully at some point, I'll be identified as "high-potential" and be moved into a leadership development program, then thrown into a management track. I'd like to be a director or VP at some point, but owning my own business would be fly as hell.

Have you ever seen a CORPSE?
3. My great-aunt, my great-grandmother, and my friend, Jon Duchatellier, who was murdered three years ago. Miss you, man...

What is your favorite DESSERT?
Now that I'm all down in the dumps about that...umm...cookie dough ice cream.

When its your time, how would you like to DIE?
Going 200 miles per hour, with my hair on fire.

If you were an EVIL character, what would your name be?
Snidely Whiplash.

Have you ever set FIRE to anything?
I couldn't count the things. I've set brush fires, grass fires...fireworks...tons of stuff.

What’s your best FLIRTY line?
I don't know what a flirty line is.

What food turns you into a complete GLUTTON?
A nice, rare, aged steak...NY strip. Must be made properly, though, with just a little fat on the edges...mmm...

What is the best GIFT you have ever gotten?
My girlfriend said she'd marry me. Even though I didn't receive anything material, that was the best minute of my life.

What is your definition of HAPPINESS?
Being with the person I love, doing something I love.

Who do you HATE more: Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson?
Paris Hilton. Jessica Simpson is just as dumb, but she had to do something for her money. And besides, she's gorgeous. Paris Hilton looks like a fish in a John Kerry shirt.

Who do you think is the biggest village IDIOT?
I really think its Ward Churchill.

State an INTERESTING fact about yourself.
I've had two hernia surgeries. Shaving your pubes really sucks.

What is the worst JOB you have ever had?
Waiter at a shitty diner. Everyone told me how they'd walk about with 50 or 60 bucks a night in tips. I made $2.15/hour and if I was lucky, made $20 in tips...amounting to less than minimum wage. And the manager was an asshole, to boot.

What is your favorite piece of JEWELRY?
My cheap silver ring that my fiancee gave me, like seven years ago. Its being retired this November in favor of a tungsten carbide wedding ring.

KARAOKE: love it or hate it?
I've always got music in my head...I can't sing, but I love to, so what do you think?

How do you feel about having KIDS?
I want three...two boys and a girl. No ideas on the boys names, but I want the girl to be named Emma Lynn.

Who is the great LOVE of your life?

What would you like to LEARN how to do?
Swordfight. With broadswords.

What is your favorite childhood MEMORY?
Camping and fishing up in Cooperstown, NY with my dad.

If you had MINIONS, what would you order them to do first?
Minions? Hmm...if they were mechanically inclined minions, I'd have them install a V8 Continental motor in my Sable...

How many daily NAPS do you need?
I work from 5 AM - 1 PM. I would like to take an afternoon nap, however, a certain puppy, which will remain nameless, does not see it that way.

Ever accidentally exposed your own or someone else’s NIPPLE?
All the time! There aren't many people that know me that haven't seen my nipples.

Do you think OUIJA boards are really controlled by the devil?
Those things are bullshit.

Describe something ODD about you.
I have to shave all the way down to my collar line, because I get random hairs that pop up in between the bottom of my beard and my chest hair.

What are you really PICKY about?
Kids actin' the foo while they're in public...and parents that do nothing about it but promise to buy them more shit.

Have you ever been to PRISON?,
Hell no.

Name something you can do really QUICKLY

Who do you QUARREL with the most?
Probably my mother.

If someone held you for RANSOM, how much do you think you are worth?
Maybe a grand or so.

What is your current RELATIONSHIP status?
I'll be married on November 18th.

Which of the SEVEN deadly SINS most applies to you?
Probably pride. I'm a hardheaded fuck.

Which would you rather not have in your home: a SPIDER or a SNAKE?
They can both hang out in my place, although Meg would freak if I brought a spider home. Now, put me near a scorpion or a centipede, and I'll cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee.

What experience felt like complete TORTURE?
Laying around after my second hernia operation. They did it through my belly button, and because of it, they pump you full of air. The air pushed on your diaphragm, which in turn causes referred pain to your shoulders. I swear that it felt like God himself was squeezing my shoulders...for hours!

What is the first THOUGHT you have waking up?
Fuck. It's 4:20 and the dog needs to pee.

What is the color of the UNDERWEAR you are wearing right now?
Yellow boxers with blue hibiscus flowers.

What is your most UNFLATTERING feature?
My fat ass.

Who do you think is the best VILLAIN of all time?
Darth Vader...nubian guy.

"What's a nubian"

What makes you feel VULNERABLE?
Not being in control.

Which would you rather have: unlimited WEALTH or unlimited WISDOM?
Wealth. With wealth can come wisdom.

If you could rule the WORLD, would you?
I doubt it. I'd probably kill a bunch of people, then get overthrown. Not a good idea.

Who is your favorite X-MEN character?
Gambit. He was a total badass, and they shoudl have had him in one of the movies, but the pussies didn't.

Have you ever had an X-RAY?
Yeah, unfortunately. I actually have to go get one for my back soon.

What do you YEARN for?
A 1970 Boss 429 Grabber Blue.

Who do you think looks more like a YETI?
I'll agree with LL...Robin Williams.

What is your ZODIAC sign?
Pisces, although I'm on the cusp of Aquarius. I don't believe in that crap anyway.

What has been the ZENITH of your life?
Getting engaged.