Friday, January 05, 2007

Weirdo at Wegmans

For those of you that are unlucky enough to not have a Wegmans near you, it is a marvelous piece of shopping center. You can get anything your gourmet heart desires there, and the prices are great! Their fresh meats and vegetables are second to none. They do, however, get their share of the freakie-deakies.

So I'm there on Wednesday, after a long day of work, and a hard workout at the Y. I need three things: pork chops, hot sauce, and olive oil. I grab said items, and make for an express checkout lane. There is one person in the lane..."No problem," I think to myself. Man, was I wrong.

The guy in line clearly did not know how to count. He had at least 20 items that he was purchasing, in the 7 items or less line, and was quizzing the cashier about the price of each item. He was fairly well dressed; not an executive or anything, but certainly not some crazy drifter. Indeed, he was purchasing some expensive gourmet items, from expensive cheeses to good quality olive oil, more expensive than even I buy. Anyway, besides his food items, he had several Christmas items that were left over in the store, and were subsequently offered at half price. While they clearly had the price labeled on them before the 50% was taken off, he made the cashier scan each item before ringing the order up, to ensure that everything, was indeed, half price. Once she finally got everything scanned, he decided that he would take several things off his order, however, he had to flip-flop on each item more times than John Kerry in Cambodia...or was it Vietnam?

About 10 minutes later, the poor cashier has finally gotten everything taken care of. His total is about $60 for 13 items or so. Well, now he has to decide which credit card to use. Personally, I carry four credit cards, and they're arranged in my wallet so as to facilitate quick searches. This guy had at least 15, and had to thumb through them like he was playing Rummy. He finally located the one he wanted, but couldn't figure out how to use the credit card machine. Bear in mind, this guy wasn't old and didn't seem to be crazy, just...weird.

After he scans his card, he turns to my items on the belt, pushes down on my pork chops with his index finger, and says to me "Those sure are good, aren't they, bud?"


Who the hell was he to touch my pork chops? They're mine! Not HIS! I almost gave this guy a piece of my mind, but I had already been waiting in line for quite awhile, and needed to get home to the dog, so I let it go. After he left, the cashier, the family behind me, and myself all had a good laugh about it, but it doesn't change the fact that he MOLESTED my pork chops!