Deep Thoughts by Joe Carr.

I always loved the Deep Thoughts stuff done on SNL. Some of the stuff on there was just funny as hell. Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts about random things. They won't be funny or well developed, but here are my ideas on a range of topics.

Intel vs. AMD: Personally, I think Intel has the market by the balls, and because of the fact that I've never had a problem running an Intel chip, I'll never run an AMD chip until I do have a failure. With that said, AMD is running Intel in the "cool shit" department as of the past few years. Intel needs to catch up, big time.

Bottled Water: I buy bottled water, but usually only one bottle a week. After that, I fill it up four to five times per day, and drink on average, about 80 ounces per day. It makes me have to piss every 15 minutes, but at least I'm flushing all the crap out of my system...

Global Warming: I won't say that it doesn't exist, but the research I've seen proves that it's nothing but bunk. The research that I've seen that supports it just doesn't take into account the natural cycles of the earth or its ability to regenerate. In the past decades, it's been used to blame everyone for everything. I think there's a Family Guy episode in which someone says that global warming raped their mother and killed their father...I might be wrong, though.

Being Younger than Everyone you work with: This is something I've been dealing with all my life. When I started my first job as a lifeguard, I was 15, and all the people I worked with were in their early 20s. Of course, I got the shitty jobs. This has ceased now that I'm where I am today. I don't mind it as much...I actually seem to get a bit of respect because I'm one of the only people in the tech staff that has a degree. Most came directly from the Navy and have much more practical experience than I could ever hope to have. I have a piece of paper...What is more worth it?

Grad School: I'm excited as hell to get my grad degree, but the next three years just seems too long. I mean, I took 192 credits while I was at Drexel. Divide that out (using 4 credits as the standard), and that's 48 courses in four years, with two co-ops. Now, my grad degree is 10, three credit courses. It's going to take me three years because Lockheed won't reimburse more than $7500/year, and each course is almost $3K. Sucks, right? Well, at least I'm getting paid to do my masters degree.

Being Sick: I have a nasty head cold, and I'm pissed as hell about it. I mean, I drink orange juice and eat pretty well, but when I get a cold, it totally knocks me on my ass. I can't wait for the day when we've eradicated the common cold. May it come quickly, and may death for the cold be swift...But not painless.

Campbell's Chunky Soup: I currently work nights (tonight is my last night, then to mornings) and a can of Campbell's Chunky is just what I need at night. I'm constantly looking for low cost food alternatives that are relatively healthy, with a low caloric and fat count. A can is about $2, fills your belly for the night, and is only about 300 calories, and 2 grams of fat. Beat that salads!

Work Provided Pens: These always suck. I don't understand why they can't pay 20 cents for a pen and get a decent roller ball, 7 mm, instead of the crap they buy for 15 cents. I understand the cost savings, and most people aren't as anal about their pens as I am, but come on. I have the feel of the standard Bic pen, but in the way its made and in the quality of its writing. I always feel as though I'm scraping the paper when I use them. This is why I'll only use the Pilot Precise V7 rolling ball pens, or the Pilot G2 rolling ball pens. Of course, I need to purchase them on my own.

The Simpsons: Come on...16 seasons? Give it a rest. Bring back Futurama while you've still got fans.

Jessica Simpson: She's a beautiful woman, no doubt about it...she's also dumb as a fox...but I can't stand hearing any more about her and her breakup with Nick Lachey (or however you spell his name). It's time to move on, people! As BigDaddy2x4 once told me, "No matter how good she looks, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit."

Overtime: I'm happy as hell to work it, because I love the extra money it gives me, especially if I'm getting my night shift differential. The problem is that I tend to work too much overtime, and burn myself out quickly, especially when I do two 12+ hour days in one week. With that said, as long as it's needed, I'll keep doing it..."Cash rules everything around me, CREAM, get the money, dolla' dolla' billz, ya'll" - Biggie

Teen Movies: Of the Not Another Teen Movie/The Girl Next Door genre. These movies are funny as hell, even if they are cheap laughs. I'm a big fan of dick and fart jokes, so I've got no problem "lowering myself". What am I, a film student?

Hope you've enjoyed these. When I have nothing better to write about, I'll do a few more.