OH MY FUCKING GOD.

That's all I can say. I think I'm going to be sick.

Foxnews.

Isaiah Washington

You know...I said something about Isaiah Washington in the comments for my post on great whites in the San Francisco Bay, and I have to say something about this guy.

I don't get what he's doing...I mean, this situation is totally screwy. Yeah, he called a guy a faggot. Big freaking deal! People do that all the time, but when it's a real gay person, you've offended him. Time to call in the thought and speech police. Personally, he should have been able to call this guy whatever the hell he wanted to without getting busted for it, but in the world we live in now, there's no way you can call someone something without losing your job, going to sensitivity training, or both. Frankly, I think this world has gotten far too PC. I would blame it on the democrats, specifically Hill and Bill, but the Republicans are just as much at fault, because they let this bullshit happen under their watch, too.

Now, I don't hate gay people. I know a few, I like a few, I dislike a few others. I'm not the type of person to hate you just because you're gay. If you're flamboyant, that does get on my nerves, sure.

This applies more to people who are anything. I mean, people who are gay, straight, black, white, latino, polish, russian, chinese. Everyone is something, and there are labels to describe each something. Once you start defining which label is OK and which is not OK, you evolve into this totalitarian thought police regime, where each word carries with it an unmentioned connotation, and suddenly, nothing is OK. Nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives are banned, because each word could be considered hurtful or insensitive.

Eventually, we'll be able to speak in only prepositions.

US pledging $770M to Hezbollah

I just read an article that made me absolutely sick! The United States, purported supporter Israel, has pledged $770 million to rebuilding Lebanon after the Israeli/Lebanese war of 2006. This aid is coming as part of a $5 billion aid package from a coalition of 35 countries.

Aren't we supporting Israel, here? Why are we giving MY tax dollars to a country that does nothing but harbor terrorists? Isn't Lebanon one of the mid-east equivalents of a North Korea? So, Kim Jong Il, terrorist, bad. Hezbollah, terrorists, good? Does that make sense to anyone? Hezbollah controls that country, and they started the war against Israel, so instead of helping Israel destroy a common enemy, like we should have, we curtsy to the world, let France make us their bitch again, and keep pledging more money to countries that 1 - hate us, and 2 - should be wiped off the map.

Now, I know that President Bush is reeling here, has no real power, and is just a sitting duck. The democrats that control Congress are just waiting for ONE shred of evidence that would point to improprieties, and they'll impeach him faster than the pad thai left my colon yesterday, but FUCK! The democrats are going to try to do anything they can, over the next two years, to repair our "tarnished" image in France, Germany, Russia, and China, including giving a ridiculous amount of money to any country they think needs it, for anything. I mean, we're giving money to the terrorists, to train and recruit more terrorists.

We should have supported Israel in that war, destroyed Lebanon for good, then gone right through to take out Syria, and continue on for the trifecta, by razing Iran.

Does this sicken anyone else? I mean, they're your tax dollars, too.

Man stabs shark with chisel.

I saw an article on Foxnews.com today, about a diver in Australia who was attacked by a Great White shark, and managed to escape the shark by stabbing it in the head with a chisel. I shit you not. I remember the line from Polly, by Nirvana, that goes something like this: "...it amazes me the will of instinct..."

Oh, here's the article...

Yeah, the guy escaped. Good to him. Can you imagine that he was actually able to "defeat" a 10 foot long Great White? I mean, 10 feet is small for a Great White...probably only 3-5 years old, but still. A Great White. And you stabbed it in the skull. Good going. Show it who's boss!

Why did I post this, you ask? Well, the Queen of Dysfunction wants to dive with the Great Whites, in a cage, of course, but also wants to swim from Alcatraz to Fisherman's Wharf, an area that DOES have Great Whites. Not to add to your fear or anything.

Seamus is getting neutered today...

I feel so bad. My little boy won't be a boy for much longer. His huge, hanging testicles, of which we've become so fond of, are going the way of the buffalo. I dropped him off at 7:15 this morning, and I feel terrible about doing so. By now, I'm sure he's been relieved of his family jewels. We pick him up at 7 this evening. As much as I'm looking forward to the accompanied drop in overall nutiness, I really am afraid that his demeanor would change. I pray it doesn't. I love him, and I love every part of his wild ways. He's never humped anyone or anything, save his fuzzy bed, and we did it with good intentions.

See, he has hip displasia, a condition in which his hips can pop out of the socket, causing severe arthritis. While we will have his hips replaced when he's old enough, we are afraid of him getting another dog pregnant, thus passing the poor hips on. Yes, it is genetic.

What really sucks about the whole thing is that he's a big, strapping boy. He's 9 months old, and 75 pounds, strong, lean, and is just a beauty to look at. I wish we could breed him. If only his hips would be good, he'd be great for the breed. Oh well...that deflated sack will be all that's left of what was once his manhood.

Poor thing.

Home Inspection.

Well, we've gotten the complete results of the home inspection, and everything looks relatively good. There are a few issues, but for the most part, we're in good shape. We've sent our letter of requests to the seller, in hopes that she'll fix what we want done, but we're not holding our breath.

There were only three big things, but they're all manageable: there is no circuit breaker, as the panel has screw-in fuses, the chimeys both need some masonry work, and there are two trails of "termite mud" near the sill in the garage. The fuses are no problem, really. We had intended to upgrade the service to 200 amp anyway, but we're trying to get some money to offset the cost of the panel and the breakers. My father-in-law will be doing the installation, so labor isn't an issue. He works for beer and food, thankfully. The masonry also isn't a problem, as there are just some loose bricks, but we'd like to have her pay for it, rather than making me get up on the roof and do it myself.

I work on cars. On the ground. Not that I have any aversion to heights, it's just the steep roof and the concrete driveway that get me. That, and the couple hundred pounds of bricks, mortar, and tools I'd need to haul 40 feet off the ground. Thanks, but no thanks.

The termite mud, as our home inspector called it, indicates that there are some termites in the sill, however, they haven't done much damage, according to his estimates. The fix is that she'll need to get the wood inspected and have it treated. This is part of the contract, and she's required to do so, thus, we're not worried about having to shell out $700+ for the treatment and more for the repair of any damaged wood.

As for the seller, she's a miserly old woman. I swear to God, she didn't crack a smile for the entire three hours we were in that house, just sat on the couch in the living room and scowled. You'd think she'd be happy, you know, getting $242K for a home she probably originally purchaed for $15K, 44 years ago. A home that is undoubtedly completely paid off, hence, that $242K goes STRAIGHT to the bank with her. If I had that kind of money, wise investments would pay off very nicely.

New Age...

Yesterday, the wife brought me to a get-together at her boss's apartment out in Philly. I was expecting a little weirdness, since her boss is a middle-aged Jewish woman with some odd tendencies, but I was not prepared for ANYTHING!

When we got there, we immediately got into a fight about parking, since we were unable to find a lot near her apartment. After driving around for a few minutes, we secured a most choice parking spot, right outside of her apartment. Score one for me!

We hit the buzzer for her apartment, and were let in. Unfortunately, we didn't realize that if we didn't get on the elevator ASAP, the elevator would lock, and we'd be unable to get to the proper floor. This was all because the apartments in that building occupy the entire floor, and if you were buzzed into the building, you could then have access to the entire building. So, after some confusion, and a call to the emergency monitoring company by my wife, someone came in who was going to the same party we were, and activated the elevator. Yay.

So we get up to the apartment. It's very nice. I'm sure the cost of the apartment (not sure whether she rents or owns) is ridiculous, and the furnishings were very nice. They weren't my cup of tea, decor-wise, but it was a nice apartment nonetheless. Food was interesting. She served a light dinner before we started watching this movie, apparently the center of this whole shindig. We were served a sesame noodle type dish, which, although it was cold, was amazing! I had to stop myself from going back for seconds, thirds, etc. There was a kind of minestrone soup which just had too many weird squashes and other things of that sort to be tasty. Skip. The salad was one of the weird mesculine mixes with odd dressings and nuts and such. Skip. The wife loved it, though.

So anyway, odd food aside, there were many bottles of red wine opened, and I had a giant glass of a nice Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon. Everyone was drinking and having a good time (and trying to figure out what the final score of the Bears/Seahawks game was) and then she threw on this video, called The Secret.

The whole premise behind this film is that there is a secret force in the universe, called the Law of Attraction. Essentially, it boils down to this notion that if you think about good things happening to you; if you concentrate on that new car you want, it'll happen, one way or another. Additionally, it is presented as a conspiracy, in that people have known about it for thousands of years, but kept it a secret from the masses for fear that they would lose their power. That's right, they tried to make a case that the secret was responsible for the top 1% of the nation making a disproportionate amount of money as compared to the rest of the nation.

Anyway, they make these ridiculous claims that you can better yourself, just by thinking about it. That when you constantly worry about debt or money troubles, all you get are more debt and money trouble, but if you constantly envision yourself with a Ferrari and a palatial mansion, you'll somehow get these things, just by thinking about them. One guy went as far as to say that the only reason he had a $4.5M mansion in California was because he envisioned himself with that. I say its more likely that he sold a ton of books, a la, L. Ron Hubbard, and made a shitload of money, fleecing people out of it in the guise that they can help themselves.

I digress.

There was another guy on there, Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith D.D. While most of the quacks on the program had titles such as "Quantum Physicist," "Metaphysicist," or "Author," this guy was a Visionary. That's right. A Visionary. How does one become a Visionary? How can I get me that job? Can I just start walking around to the cubicles, selling snake oil, and call myself a Visionary? Would people buy something from me? I think I'm going to quit my job and become a Visionary.

We had to cut out early, because we were "supposed" to be "meeting" my "parents" for "dinner," so I didn't need to watch the entire 90 minutes of the flick, but before we left, I actually heard someone on the movie say that man does not understand what electricity is made of. Really. I guess that the electrical engineers of the past were wrong when they figured out that electricity was made up of positively and negatively charged particles called "protons" and "electrons." Maybe their editors should take a look at this Wikipedia entry on electricity before they allow crap like that make it to celluloid.

Oh, and if you're interested in researching this film, check out the IMDB entry here.

House update!

I just spoke to our realtor, who, I must say again, has been a real help in this process.

She has spoken with the other realtor, as well as the seller's attorney, and both realtors agree that the attorney has done nothing but screw up the deal by putting a bad taste in everyone's mouth by writing this letter of amendment without actually understanding what he's talking about.

So, our big thing was that we wanted the seller to be responsible for a portion or all of the costs of the home inspection, should she void the contract for excessive repair costs. It shouldn't be an issue, but I was afraid that she'd hide something and we'd be out the $455 for the inspection. She agreed to cover half of the home inspection, should she void the contract. So, pending our initials on the contract, we're ready to go into attorney review.

We should be out of attorney review on Monday night, after the home inspection is completed. Then, all there is left is to get the mortgage all straightened out (we've already been pre-approved with the mortgage company), get the survey done, and close on the house!

By the way, here's a picture of the front of the house...

And no, that's not my BMW. More pictures here.

Buying a New House

So the wife and I are undertaking our biggest purchase yet, a new house. Well, not new, but 44 years old.

We found a place in Cherry Hill, NJ, a few miles away, for the right price, and with the right features. It's a four bedroom, 1.5 bath Colonial, with a yard a little under 1/4 acre. Did I mention that the price was right?

Well, we've been in negotiations for about three weeks, now, going back to the middle of December, trying to nail down a price. Anyone who has purchased a home will understand the process (or not), and the problems that pop up.

We had agreed on a price, and signed the contracts last week. All she needed to do was sign the contracts, get them back to us for our initials, and we could go into attorney review. Simple, right? She decided that she wanted to have her attorney look at the contracts (we're not using an attorney) and now we're knee deep in shit...

The seller wants clauses in the contract that would limit the amount of money she has to pay for any repairs found during the home inspection; totally understandable. What we're trying to work out is that if she voids the contract because the cost of repairs exceeds the limit we've agreed to, she is responsible for paying the home inspection costs, which are $455.
Additionally, she is requiring that her lawyer be present at closing, and he's unable to make it on the days that we want to close, and because we're moving out of an apartment, we had to give notice, so we don't have much room to maneuver, as far as closing/moving dates are concerned.

The original closing date was set for February 23rd, so we told our landlord we'd be out by the 28th. Now, her attorney is unavailable from the 17th to the 27th, so we're either stuck moving in one shot, and turning over the apartment to the landlord, as well as closing, all on the same day (the 28th), or we have to pay a half months rent, as well as a half months mortgage, taxes, and insurance.

Awesome, right?

Our realtor has been great, and I'd recommend her to anyone. Her name is Marge Felton, and she works in the Moorestown, NJ Weichert office. She's been working hard to get all this figured out, but I'm not sure the seller really wants to sell. Here's hoping, though...

Seven Drunken Nights

For the Queen...

And Irish folk tune called Seven Drunken Nights. Remember to sing it more and more drunkenly as the song goes on!

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a woolen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should be

Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before

China's J-10 Aircraft

Does this scare you?

It doesn't scare me. The Chinese have a J-10, which they claim is as good or better than the SU-27 Flanker, a twenty year old Russian fighter. CNN would have you believe that China is a threat militarily, based on their technology. They aren't.

Our military technology is leaps and bounds ahead of the Chinese, or even the Russians, for that matter. Our biggest problem is the escalation of costs. For instance, the original Request for Proposal (RFP) for the F-22 Raptor called for the aircraft, which was to replace the F-15 Eagle, to cost around $35M per aircraft. The newest numbers show that the aircraft will cost at least $250M per copy, and the roles it was originally designed to fill no longer are needed, at least, not by a $250M aircraft. The F-35 Lightning II is a better all-around aircraft than the F-22, with many more roles.

See, the F-22 was designed with a Cold War attitude. No compromise. The fastest. The most powerful. No expense was spared. Unfortunately, it's an air superiority fighter in a time when air superiority is not an issue. How long did it take us to rout the Iraqi Air Force, even in its heyday in 1991? Anyway, as badass as it is, its an obsolete aircraft.

Just because its obsolete, though, doesn't mean that it can't whip the shit out of that J-10. I would wager that any of our current multi-role fighters would take the fight to this new jet and blow it out of the sky, no contest, including the recently retired F-14.

Anyway, just thought you'd like to know.

Blogger

So I've got a new look here.

I spent some time last week and updated the styling of the site. I really think that this looks better, although I wish I could change the header and some other things. As much of an IT weenie as I am, I can't figure out how to do that crap.

Anyway, if you have any comments about the design, please let me know. I'm open to suggestion. I'm particularly interested in finding out if there are parts of the site that you are unable to read because of color contrasts.

Weirdo at Wegmans

For those of you that are unlucky enough to not have a Wegmans near you, it is a marvelous piece of shopping center. You can get anything your gourmet heart desires there, and the prices are great! Their fresh meats and vegetables are second to none. They do, however, get their share of the freakie-deakies.

So I'm there on Wednesday, after a long day of work, and a hard workout at the Y. I need three things: pork chops, hot sauce, and olive oil. I grab said items, and make for an express checkout lane. There is one person in the lane..."No problem," I think to myself. Man, was I wrong.

The guy in line clearly did not know how to count. He had at least 20 items that he was purchasing, in the 7 items or less line, and was quizzing the cashier about the price of each item. He was fairly well dressed; not an executive or anything, but certainly not some crazy drifter. Indeed, he was purchasing some expensive gourmet items, from expensive cheeses to good quality olive oil, more expensive than even I buy. Anyway, besides his food items, he had several Christmas items that were left over in the store, and were subsequently offered at half price. While they clearly had the price labeled on them before the 50% was taken off, he made the cashier scan each item before ringing the order up, to ensure that everything, was indeed, half price. Once she finally got everything scanned, he decided that he would take several things off his order, however, he had to flip-flop on each item more times than John Kerry in Cambodia...or was it Vietnam?

About 10 minutes later, the poor cashier has finally gotten everything taken care of. His total is about $60 for 13 items or so. Well, now he has to decide which credit card to use. Personally, I carry four credit cards, and they're arranged in my wallet so as to facilitate quick searches. This guy had at least 15, and had to thumb through them like he was playing Rummy. He finally located the one he wanted, but couldn't figure out how to use the credit card machine. Bear in mind, this guy wasn't old and didn't seem to be crazy, just...weird.

After he scans his card, he turns to my items on the belt, pushes down on my pork chops with his index finger, and says to me "Those sure are good, aren't they, bud?"

I ALMOST FUCKING LOST IT!

Who the hell was he to touch my pork chops? They're mine! Not HIS! I almost gave this guy a piece of my mind, but I had already been waiting in line for quite awhile, and needed to get home to the dog, so I let it go. After he left, the cashier, the family behind me, and myself all had a good laugh about it, but it doesn't change the fact that he MOLESTED my pork chops!